As I think about the coming New Year, I know some things for certain. I know that my husband won’t die this coming year as he moved to heaven this year. I also know that the grief will be less in 2016 because it is not so new. For me, the most important question is what will change in 2016?
Since Joe left, I find myself learning to rely on Jesus, my husband and my Lord. It is new territory.
When I had friends lose their husbands, I would say, “You know that Jesus is your husband now.” It was cliché’ and glib. I had no idea what I was saying.
As a widow, I have missed my husband’s presence. He is not here to hold my hand and kiss me good night. Being alone isn’t so bad but what I find is that I miss his human touch.
In a recent Sunday service, the Holy Spirit showed up in an extraordinary way. The revelation that came to me was astonishing. He showed me that when I am in the Spirit, I can step into Him and He can step into me. We are one in the Spirit. I don’t think there are words that can clarify exactly what I mean, but it is breathtaking.
He is my Savior, my King, my Owner, my Husband and my Love. We are one together in the Holy Spirit. He touches me in a new way and it is truly fulfilling.
I am His bride and the New Year is filled with expectation. I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.